A member of the Chiefs organization stepped in, recognizing the signs of drug addiction. As injuries mounted and his daily intake of opioids reached a near-lethal level, he wrote his suicide note to his parents and plotted his death. Then it was on to the NFL for stints with the New England Patriots and the Kansas City Chiefs.īubbling under the surface of Ryan's entire NFL career was a collision course between his secret sexuality and his hidden drug use. He was recruited by the University of California, Berkeley. Ryan never envisioned just how far his football career would take him. Letting people in on the darkest secret he kept buried inside was not an option, and it never would be. Growing up in a red-state corner of California, the not-so-subtle messages he heard as a young man routinely equated being gay with disease and death.
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